I piss excellence.
Being amazing is second nature.
There is no "I" in team, but there is "ME."
Coming off a phenomenal and almost fairytale like season like the 2009 softball team has shown me what a true bad-ass I am and what astounding athletic ability god has given me.
I decided to give my team, the MacGruber's, some incentive to play above their natural abilities with a pizza party paid for by yours truly.
My team proved to me that they have it in them to beat mediocrity through out this past season. You deserved this pizza. It was the best $60.89 that I have spent this week.
I know that you are all honored that I DHed for your team this year. You are very welcome.
Just like all good things, this has to come to an end. I am demanding a trade to the team that threw the beat down on us twice. Not just a beat down, a run ruled beat down.
I will be signing my championship t-shirt and will sell it to charity. That's right, not sell it FOR charity. I want to make money on this. They didn't go out there on Sunday nights and win the league. Why should they profit for my sweet hitting ability?
From the words of pitcher great Kenny Powers, "You're f-ing out!"
No comments:
Post a Comment