I want to introduce you to my unborn son Stanton Hudson Barker. That is what Nicole thinks our baby will look like if he has my hair. That is not an actual picture of Hudson. That is a Monchichi. I have a slight hair problem. No, I am not going bald. Quite the opposite. If it was uttered in biblical time they would say my hair runneth over and poureth onto my forehead.
Can you believe that I am completely terrified of someone that weighs 1.5 lbs and is the size of a banana.
This is the little guy that is responsible for kicking my wife's ass for the last 5 months. I mean really wailing on her.
I am going to be responsible for another human. I have taken very good care of both of my dogs but i imagine that they were easy compared to a newborn. Do I feed, water, and walk little Hudson? That is what D and Daisy live for. How hard is it going to be to teach Hudson tricks? What kind of tricks do you teach a baby of your own? When I have a baby do I become a DILF? Does this make me more or less attractive? Isn't a baby the ultimate accessory? Who the hell answers these questions?
According to wife, there is to be no "that's what she said", comments during our baby class and the delivery. She obviously hasn't met me yet. How am I not going to giggle at the word vagina. What about all of the comedic genius lines that I have come up with for all the pregnant women in the room. Picture this, walking into the room with all the pregnant women and saying, "Wow, these girls are easy."
What makes this worse is that we are attending class with one of my best friends since we were in kindergarten. This is recipe for disaster. I will keep you updated and try to take very good notes on all of the "that's what she said" goodness.
Below are pictures from our last sonogram.
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